Charity, Geldof, Bin Laden and Bunny Rabbits - you choose!

My friend Carly recently posted about her western-civilization guilt when she saw the devastation from the hurricanes . . . in the poorer countries! Forget Katrina! (okay, she didn't mention Katrina, probably because she forgot about it compared to the devastation elsewhere, as she should) She was wondering what she could do to really make a difference, and her incredibly lucky life, including her $150 running shoes, were really preying on her mind. She asked if anyone else feels that way. I was the first person to answer, and I got all caught up in it . . . . here is the gist of what I said.

Sure, I think about charity, and how lucky I am. But I have some strong beliefs about being involved in charity. The thing is not to get caught up in sentimentality, if you plan to give money. It's fine if sentimentality gets you motivated to volunteer or start looking to give to charity . . .

For example, I got irritated when I heard that ten bucks of the money I paid for a swing class went to hurricane victims in the states. The states? Unlike 90% of the countries in the world, they had the money to deal with H. Katrina in the best way possible! If their government would prefer to dick around for a while or bomb some places off continent, it really doesn't make me feel guilty. (I'll note here that if Canada has some disaster relief specialists, they should go to Katrina or wherever they can do the most good, even if it is in the USA). I feel more guilt for any one of the underfed children that die every three seconds . . . or disasters that happen in places where the people are already living on the edge, in countries that probably do get the shaft from rich swollen nations like Canada.

So, even if the starving, fly-ridden children on the TV are tugging at your heartstrings, do some research before 'calling that number' to 'do your part'. When my parents decided to foster a kid in my brother's name (they make him do chores to support the kid, hoping that it would put it all into perspective!), they did some real internet hunting for the right agency. First off, they looked for one that spent the highest money percentage on the children, versus infrastructure and advertising. Then they confirmed that it was a secular (IE non-religious) agency, so the kid wasn't learning Christianity with his ABCs. They researched countries to find out where there was the highest need. In the end, they sponser a kid in Bangladesh (80% Muslim, not a great mainstay of the Christian Children's Fund). The thing is that despite some colouration difference and language barrier, the little dude looks a lot like my brother did. His mother sent us a message about him - he doesn't work as hard at his schoolwork as he should, but he likes soccer and is a relatively good kid. He sent us a nice drawing of some soccer players, with rather whimsical colours and numbers of digits per hand.

Though obviously we liked the letter, I still would have preferred no letter (that translator could have been digging latrines or something, really) and more money to the kid. A little more rice for his sister or something, whatever. I'm sure the personal connection keeps the money coming in, but it shouldn't.

I think if someone wants to feel that personal connection, they should go give of themselves. Be the person that gives their time to man the phonelines for a funding drive, or even better, volunteer your time with people who need attention. I know that Carly has done that already, and hopefully felt the rewards just like I do every time someone is happy to see me walk into their hospital ward.

The whole 'give of yourself' thing was stolen, of course. Bob Geldof meant something similar when he said it - he meant that a person should give something from the heart, and get personally involved. It should be more than just throwing money at a supplicant - that is why he got that whole Band Aid, Live Aid, and Live 8 shebang started, continued, and accomplished. I read his biography, after hearing a two hour long monologue from my dad which started off with him horrified and disgusted that I didn't know the Live Aid story in the first place.

Let me tell you, if you want to know more about giving of yourself and some shocking facts about world poverty and disaster relief, you should check out that book: "Is that it?" By Bob Geldof. The book also confirms my belief that you don't have to be a nice person to be a good person. It was written pretty soon after Live Aid, so it includes some additional shocking things about old public schools in Ireland and what it's like to be famous, but the story and the politics are classic and ongoing.

Well, that sort of went all over the place . . . but what I mean is that yes, I do think about that stuff, and how wasteful I am and our society is, etc etc. And I should be doing more about it. I've joined the Emergency Social Services group in Vic (If you don't know what that is, you should really check it out! There are ESS groups all over BC and maybe Canada) and I volunteer a bit with old people and young people who need friends or mentors. It's not that much of my time, and it is rewarding as all hell. But in case that makes me sound good, I still spend money on clothes and media that should be spent on something useful or someone more worthy. Lets not even talk about how much money I burn on my many and various fatuous hobbies.

I like to comfort myself with the thought that when I have soothed (or preferably retrained) my materialistic soul and feel financially secure in the future (and I will try to shame myself into making that happen soon) I will give money to charity and drive only hybrid cars. I personally enjoy the new slogan from the states "If you drive alone, you drive with Bin Laden!". Well, I think it means that you are being wasteful while contributing to pollution, lousy politics, and the oppression and bombing of relatively innocent people.

So, you think it's funny that I went from charity to material wastefullness and pollution? They are all connected, my friend. It's all about keeping your eyes open and trying to be a better human citizen. Pollution will kill people in the end too, along with lots of fuzzy bunny rabbits and dolfins. LOTS of dead dolfins, and sea turtles and photographically inferior but worthy insects and plants and stuff. (But think dolfins and marmots and Africans to get that sentimentality flowing). Western civilization is all about using and abusing, but if education trumps propaganda, things could change.

Right?

Cheesy pickups lines - please add to the collection!

Right: the worse it is, the better. You know, the ones that almost get your hopes up then make you groan, or the ones that are so improbable you have to snicker.

Today's collection:

If I told you your body was beautiful, would you hold it against me?

Say, did we go to different schools together?

That outfit must make a lot of noise in the dryer, huh?

Hit-upon asks, "Excuse me, do you have the time?" You: "Yes, but do you have the energy?"

Do you know the essential difference between sex and conversation? (No.) Do you wanna go upstairs and talk?

Hey I see your wearing clothes, I'm wearing clothes, you know we have something in common we should get together and do something sometime.

I don't know what you think of me, but I hope it's X-rated.

I like your shirt. You know, it would go really well with my floor. . .

Do you mind if I stare at you up close instead of from across the room?

Those are nice jeans, do you think I could get in them?


And as a wrap up, the ever-classy
I have a six inch tongue and I can breath through my ears.


*When adding to collection, please *star* any of lines have actually worked*

Ways to decrease possible study time - volunteer!

So, I started volunteering at hospitals a few years back, when Keltie and I lived like two blocks away from one. I volunteered on a ward mainly filled with hip and knee replacement patients, and got my roommate's kitten PATS certified (behaviour tested and fully vaccinated etc.) so I could bring it inside the hospital to visit people. That was a slick way to break the ice - even a sick ornery person is probably going to soften if you start off with "would you like to see my kitten?" and you wave a furry squirming ball with 7 toes on each front foot. The biggest problem was just visiting the patients . . . going past the nurses station was made difficult by the mob of employees that would rush us, to get at the kittens. Even the nurse who swore she was really just a dog person was a sucker for the 'mutant furballs'.

This summer, I lived with the parents and volunteered at the local long term care ward where my grandpa lives, mainly helping out with Sunday morning bingo. Basically, most of the patients couldn't see the numbers, hear the numbers, or understand the numbers . . . you might think this would be irritating, but it was much more rewarding than I expected. I got to know the patients, and say when a dementia patient had a good day and caught on, I would be just as charmed as when a small child learns a new trick.

This summer was especially useful in that I rapidly learned how to asess mental states. Of course I try not to speak in idiot-sugary-voice to anyone, but obviously it takes a very different mindset to get the most out of a conversation with residents who are more coherent than I am, and those who don't know their own name on a good day. It takes practice to do the mental reset in one second between Alice (who does her 4 bingo cards and easily helps the 2 deaf people beside her), and a stroke patient who says 'buh-bye, buh-bye' as her only word, and it means everything from "I'm thirsty", "I need you to wheel me to my room" and "See you later". (I don't know that resident's name, and I'm not sure if she does either anymore).

I came back to my university digs this September, and decided to take advantage of the long term care hospital right around the corner. (Or maybe decided they could take advantage of me? They say that volunteers save the health system untold millions of dollard in BC alone). My volunteer coordinator gave me just two people to visit with each week, and after hearing of my previous experiences, she gave serious thought to my matches.

My first match is an Aussie just recently confined to a wheelchair without the use of his arms. It took like two minutes for me to realize that he was willing to let me use acronyms in Scrabble because there was virtually no way I was going to beat him without help, despite the fact that he can't poke and rearrange his letters around to stimulate word formation. His mind is far more orderly than mine, and I bet he's used to hanging around with university profs, like his wife . . . let alone his old coworkers from one of the few newspapers even I read. Anyways, next time I am going to show up early and bring an Oxford dictionary, so we can get me up to current competition standards. I am already brainstorming ways to bring other people into the game . . . preferably people who I can beat by just a little.

I asked the other resident that I visit if he would like to play . . . he said sure, but he can't spell. He's always needed full-on care, so maybe he didn't go to school much. This doesn't stop him from knowing far more than I about current movie download sites. When he answered 'women' to my obligatory "what sort of interests do you have" question, I thought it was pretty entertaining. I told him that I wanted to hear one really cheesy pickup line, each week . . . like the "Excuse me, have we met before? Oh, only in my dreams" variety. Him and his roommate thought that was hilarious, and we went on and talked about horror films, bad movie endings, massive ammounts of coffee consumption, etc.

So, please leave any scrabble tips, or any cheesy pickup lines of note, below as comments!