The worst things I ever did to my roommate
So, a year or two back I had a roommate - not Keltie, some other entirely unsuspecting innocent. I won't name her, just in case I decide to post a sequel to this missive, listing the iffy things she perpetrated upon me.
Note that two of the three things here were done ACCIDENTALLY.
One day I finally got around to doing chores the way she requested, so I cleaned the mould in the bathroom grout with her old toothbrush (totally kosher). I didn't want to put it back in the bag until it dried, so I left it hanging over the sink before we headed out to a big house party.
The next day, we were both really hung over. I was in a comforter cocoon, squinting as I tried to watch TV, when she eventually crawled out of bed. A while later she appeared, and apologized for most likely using my toothbrush. She held out two pink toothbrushes and asked me which one was mine. Naturally, I didn't have a pink toothbrush. I sort of blinked at her for a while, trying to find a good way to break the truth. "Umm, bad news honey, if you didn't use your toothbrush . . . "
Needless to say she brushed her teeth repeatedly with the propper toothbrush afterwards, and used half a bottle of scope.
My friend Carly picked me up so we could go dog-walking for someone, and we chatted with my roommate then fiddled around before we left in her car. I thought I would be prudent in locking the door behind me as it was winter and already dark, so I called out a farewell to the roomie then locked my door and headed out.
en we returned 40 minutes later, my roommate was sitting on the stoop with some laundry beside her. She had forgotten I was heading out, and she had been just below us, doing laundry, when we left . . . without her apartment key. She realized it just as the car started up, so she ran out of the laundry room and down the driveway after us, but we didn't hear or see her. If any of you have seen our driveway, you know that it is the steepest driveway around, the bane of taxi drivers. She made it halfway down the driveway before she tripped and fell, but didn't stop - she slid the last ten metres, right over the sidewalk, and ended up half in the gutter. Naturally, she had left a fair ammount of skin behind. The manager wasn't in, and noone else had the key, so she had no choice but to wait, though she didn't know how long I would be.
Fortunately after she used up about 20 of my bandaids and half a tube of polysporin, she was willing to forgive me, and she thought it was pretty funny. I was the one who winced the most when she happily showed off all the gravel-burn to all our friends.
And last and most culpable, my (ex)boyfriend called me early one morning to help him with something, so despite knowing my groceries would be delivered shortly, I headed out. To make sure my poor roomie (who is the most zombie-like thing I've ever seen until she gets half a pot of coffee into her) answered the doorbell, I posted a nice big sign on the door saying "will be in bed, ring really loud".
So, what's the worst thing you have ever done to a roomie, or had done to you? I had a subletter once, who used the other subletter's vegetable cleaning brush to clean the mould off the bathroom ceiling. He didn't really see what the big deal was.
Note that two of the three things here were done ACCIDENTALLY.
One day I finally got around to doing chores the way she requested, so I cleaned the mould in the bathroom grout with her old toothbrush (totally kosher). I didn't want to put it back in the bag until it dried, so I left it hanging over the sink before we headed out to a big house party.
The next day, we were both really hung over. I was in a comforter cocoon, squinting as I tried to watch TV, when she eventually crawled out of bed. A while later she appeared, and apologized for most likely using my toothbrush. She held out two pink toothbrushes and asked me which one was mine. Naturally, I didn't have a pink toothbrush. I sort of blinked at her for a while, trying to find a good way to break the truth. "Umm, bad news honey, if you didn't use your toothbrush . . . "
Needless to say she brushed her teeth repeatedly with the propper toothbrush afterwards, and used half a bottle of scope.
My friend Carly picked me up so we could go dog-walking for someone, and we chatted with my roommate then fiddled around before we left in her car. I thought I would be prudent in locking the door behind me as it was winter and already dark, so I called out a farewell to the roomie then locked my door and headed out.
en we returned 40 minutes later, my roommate was sitting on the stoop with some laundry beside her. She had forgotten I was heading out, and she had been just below us, doing laundry, when we left . . . without her apartment key. She realized it just as the car started up, so she ran out of the laundry room and down the driveway after us, but we didn't hear or see her. If any of you have seen our driveway, you know that it is the steepest driveway around, the bane of taxi drivers. She made it halfway down the driveway before she tripped and fell, but didn't stop - she slid the last ten metres, right over the sidewalk, and ended up half in the gutter. Naturally, she had left a fair ammount of skin behind. The manager wasn't in, and noone else had the key, so she had no choice but to wait, though she didn't know how long I would be.
Fortunately after she used up about 20 of my bandaids and half a tube of polysporin, she was willing to forgive me, and she thought it was pretty funny. I was the one who winced the most when she happily showed off all the gravel-burn to all our friends.
And last and most culpable, my (ex)boyfriend called me early one morning to help him with something, so despite knowing my groceries would be delivered shortly, I headed out. To make sure my poor roomie (who is the most zombie-like thing I've ever seen until she gets half a pot of coffee into her) answered the doorbell, I posted a nice big sign on the door saying "will be in bed, ring really loud".
So, what's the worst thing you have ever done to a roomie, or had done to you? I had a subletter once, who used the other subletter's vegetable cleaning brush to clean the mould off the bathroom ceiling. He didn't really see what the big deal was.
posted by Lu Hill at 1:16 p.m.
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